Archive for October, 2011

Fresh Picked and Natural — Wink, Wink!

 

 

 

Fresh Picked and Natural — Wink, Wink!

By Jake Jakubuwski

 A Face Book friend replied to a post that I had put on the site and although I’m not anywhere near in her league when it comes to eating right, exercising and working to be hearty and hale  — and enthusiastic in her vigorous personal regimens; I applaud her fervor and dedication. On the other hand, I’m somewhere to the left of her center in my thinking, eating and exercise (HAH!) habits…

 

Debbie,

 First let me thank you for the kind words.

 Next let me address the food supply issue as I see it; and with the caveat that I am far from being an expert, or even a well-informed layman, in that area. Although I do have a number of opinions!

 Back when Moog and Mooga got hungry, they simply picked some berries, dug up some tubers or hit a snake or other creature over the head. Voila! Dinner was served.

 As our ancestors came down out of the trees and out of the caves their needs began to change and being humans, they figured out that if they grew their own food supplies they could have a more dependable food source and be better able feed their families and maybe even sell, or trade some of  their excess, to their neighbors. Thus we became an agrarian society.

 The downside was that there were still a lot of homo-sapiens that didn’t like the idea of giving up being hunters and fishers and figured out that if Moog and Mooga could grow it, then Thug and Tugette could steal it. That led to cities, fortifications, bigger farms, armies, more mouths to feed and some form of government.

 Mankind was moving away from agriculture as the main source of income and support. With cities came the advent of shoemakers (Er, sandal makers) butchers, bakers, green grocers and spice merchants. These craftsmen and merchants were needed to provide the stuff that the non-farmers, priests, politicians, poets, weavers and real estate agents had to wear and eat. And, that’s not counting carpenters, masons, scientists and sewer cleaners that were needed.

 We sort of began experimenting with civilization (?). Right!

 As our food needs increased some folks began tinkering with the idea that if they could grow more, on the same acreage, they could feed more people and make more money. So, one day when one of Moog’s progeny was mucking out the cow pen, he noticed that the grass seemed greener and the earth was “richer”. That was the beginning of the fertilizer industry. That idea is still with us: it’s called,  “Black Cow” and you can buy it in bags at Wal-Mart.

 Somewhere along the line, farmers found they couldn’t produce enough seeds to plant the larger volume of crops that they needed and the seed industry was born. At first the seed companies put bunches of seeds in a little paper bag (Actually, at first it was a folded leaf from the forest) and sold the seeds to the farmer who could now devote more time to growing product without having to set aside a portion of his crop to obtain the seed for next year’s crops.

 By then the fertilizer industry was booming and seeds were selling by the leaf full and yet, there was still not enough food to feed the ever increasing population. In order to increase crop yields the seed companies began diddling with the genetics of the seeds they were selling and figured out how to genetically alter them so they would grow bigger plants with more tomatoes, beans, corn and peas on them.

 Beef producers, sheep herders, pig sloppers, chicken raisers and turkey farms all began trying to find ways to grow bigger, better and more tasty meat. They did it with a combination of genetic alteration, chemical additives and special feed lots that were designed to get more meat to the market…

 Even the  local gardener fell prey to the fertilizer fad. Someone discovered that Epsom salts made a good fertilizer, added a few other ingredients to the mix and sold it as a more miraculous growth enhancer then Black Cow. By that time, of course, there were all sorts of organic and inorganic fertilizers being used on crops.

 With farms getting bigger and cities growing by leaps and bounds and longer distances and time from field-to-table those products had to be able to withstand the trip.  Genetic engineering — from seeds to live stock — became an imperative. The chicken we eat today is force-fed and the field crops have also had their genes tinkered with and steroid cocktails liberally added to most of it.

 Here’s a bit of a side note about raising chickens. When I was in my pre-teens I spent a couple of years in a foster home. The home happened to be an active farm. One of our “crops” was chickens.  It took us approximately 12 weeks to get a hatchling from a chick to a chicken ready for market. Today, the time is six weeks and the bird weighs around 4 pounds!

 Also, I understand that today, through genetics, chickens can be raised to have large thighs, or large wings, or large breasts — sort of customizing various parts for specific markets. That ain’t natural.

 Now, we come to the processing of those foods. Each step of the way, from farm-to-table chemicals in the guise of preservatives, color enhancers, ripening agents, tenderizers, pesticides and other gunk is sprayed, injected, rubbed and marinated onto or into those foods.

 That goes for “natural health” foods as well. In order to get produce from Brazil to America requires that the produce stay reasonably fresh and as tasty as modern chemistry can make it while being shipped from the grower to the processor.

 In a certain TV commercial, a healthy, athletic lady fords rivers and seeks out remote villages to find ingredients for the product she is promoting. You see her tasting the “fresh” fruit, grains and nuts. The truth of the matter is that by the time those ingredients are picked, packaged and placed on board a ship or whatever from wherever to the factory where the product is “finished” and boxed — it wouldn’t be fit to eat if at least a pesticide wasn’t applied to keep the creepy crawlers from feasting on what’s slated to become someone’s breakfast cereal.

 In theUnited States, alone, there are three hundred million (give or take) mouths to feed. That’s a lot of groceries. The reality of the matter, at least as I see it, is that there is no way to feed that many people three squares a day, plus snacks, deserts, puddings, candy bars, ice cream and doughnuts without putting chemicals in the mix.

 Of course, you could buy some open land and start your own natural farm and not use any fertilizers, pesticides or genetically altered seeds. And you would probably get a lot less yield for the same acreage where all those chemicals were being used. That might be desirable for you and you might be able to feed your family and maybe even a few friends.

 Unfortunately, even on such a farm, you would have pesticides, air pollution, acid rain and carbon emissions to contend with. The reality being that even under “natural” conditions your foods would be contaminated. Pine forests are succumbing to acid rain, rain forests are succumbing to logging and oil exploration and concrete bridges, roadways and buildings are being destroyed by acid rain.  What chance does a natural farm have?  Is that splitting hairs? Probably.

 But the reality is that if we don‘t find even faster and better ways to bring food to the populace of the world — we’re in big trouble.  Organic farming and fertilizer-free foods would, most probably, only feed about 50% of our current population — if we were really lucky. Most likely we will find an answer to the problems in even more genetically altered and chemically enhanced foods. Is that really bad? Maybe, maybe not…

 In 1900 before we started tinkering with sheep genes and tomato seeds, the average life expectancy, inAmerica, was 47.3 years. In 2010, in spite of carcinogens from automobiles and barbeque grills, acid rain from industrial emissions, high mercury levels in fish; plus all of the steroids, stabilizers, starches and slop that is added to our food supply every year, the life expectancy in the United States is now 78.37 years.

 And that life expectancy is in spite of hamburgers and fries that can sit in a bag for months without growing mold, or deteriorating (I’m not saying they’re edible) and all of the nasty chemical particulates that we breath, ingest or drink in our water — I have to think that we homo-sapiens are a pretty tough and adaptable breed: even though we’re living better — and longer — through chemistry!

 Is all of this a statement against natural foods and good eating habits? Not by a long shot. I think that anyone who has the gumption and wherewithal to want to take care of their bodies and health and feel that natural foods are the way to do it — that’s great and more power to them. As a popular slogan once admonished: “Eat right, exercise and die anyway!”

 But here’s a warning from a dyed-in-the-wool couch potato: “Don’t you dare touch my Nachos!”

 

An Open Letter to:

Dr. Janet Kavandi,

Director of Flight Crew Operations

Johnson Space Center, Houston, Texas

 

 Dear Dr. Kavandi:

 I’ve been reading on the “Net” the last couple of days that NASA has announced it is going to open applications, next month, for an astronaut class that will start in 2013.

 This new class will be the 21st since the original seven in 1959!

 In the article I read, you said that this is  “…an exciting time to join the astronaut corps.”

 Sounds good to me, Janet, please send me an application!

 I know that I’m not exactly a prime physical specimen and since my back surgery six years ago, I sleep sitting in a recliner. However, from what I can see in the videos I have watched; when you go up into space, you start out in a recliner and spend a lot of time in it while zipping around your flight orbit and watching stars, planets, the earth and space junk zipping by your window. Or are they called ports? Not the recliners, but the windows?

 I also know that astronauts have to have flight experience. I’ve got that!

 I learned to fly a Cessna 150 back in the early 70’s. I even managed to graduate to flying a 172 and finally a 182. I think that’s what it was called. I have flown unaided from Fort Myers, Florida to Orlando, to Tampa and back to Fort Myers! No problems.

 Well, there was a small one when I asked to land in Orlando and the tower told me to “do a right downwind, and turn base…” Please understand, I was new and the controller thought it was funny when I reported a right downwind and he asked if I was “that little plane over the lake?” I said, in my best pilot’s voice: “Affirmative!” The controller told me that since there was no other traffic in the area I could continue with my “left” downwind.

 Okay…it could happen to anyone. I’ll betcha astronauts have flown on the wrong side of some planet, or the other! And, I’ve read about lots of pilots that flew the wrong way. So, I don’t feel that was a major mistake, right?

 I still want a shot at being a part of this new corps of astronauts! I don’t have to pilot the space ship. I can be a navigator; or simply make the coffee for the other astronauts on board.

 I noticed on NASA’s website that they kind of favor folks that have a scientific background. They also lean toward folks that have been to college and have master’s degrees and stuff like that. I wonder how much “Life Experience” counts with NASA?

 I’ve got a lot of that. On the scientific level, I’ve learned that it’s wrong to mix bleach and ammonia (Paint remover and bleach aren’t good together, either). I’ve also learned that when you want to make a Bar-B-Q grill out of a 55-gallon drum that formerly had contact cement in it — using one of those long, fireplace matches to look inside the drum is not the best idea in the world.

 No! It wasn’t me. Honestly! But my buddy, Glen. He told me that’s how his nylon socks melted down around his ankles and his eyebrows got frizzed!

 See, Janet, I really do learn by experience! Not only when I do it, myself, but when friends share their discoveries with me…I think I would qualify as perceptive.

 I’ve also learned to pay attention to signs and written instructions. I’ve seen pictures of the inside of the shuttles and they’re full of signs and tags and stuff. I want you to know that I pay attention when the sign says, “Wet Paint”; I seldom ever touch the surface anymore.

 If the sign says, “Slippery When Wet!” I don’t try to slide down the hallway with my tennis shoes on. The main reason I don’t is because I found out, early on, that the slippery areas most often have an end to them. Often a very abrupt end!

 Let me tell you this: You don’t have to worry about me holding on to the railings and handles on gangways and ladders! No, indeed! I mean, at my age and with my “back condition”, I hold on to anything that will help me walk better and I avoid stairways and ladders as if my life depended on it. Also, I always use my seat belt whether I’m driving or riding.

 But on a shuttle mission; stairs, ladders and gangways would not even be a consideration since I would be weightless and could float from level to level and “swim” from one end of a compartment to the other! That would sure take a load off of my knees and hips!

 As far as I know, Janet, I don’t suffer from vertigo so maybe we could eliminate that centrifuge thing that seems to be a part of an astronaut’s training regimen. If we did, then I probably wouldn’t need to bring a barf  bag, or anything.

 When it comes to math and plotting courses, I’m pretty good as long as I can fly VFR (Visual Flight Rules). I also have a pretty good sense of direction and can easily differentiate between “UP and Down” and “Over and Under”. I mean if the shuttle I was on were to pass over Australia: I would know that I was “Down Under!”

 And, when it comes to math, I can count backwards from “10-to-liftoff” without even thinking about it!

 Janet, as far as I’m concerned there is only one serious drawback to me joining the next astronaut class: my weight. The reason I mention that is I know I would need a specially tailored space suit (But, aren’t they all specially tailored?) and my weight might make a difference in the amount of fuel needed to get the shuttle into orbit. But those are, in my mind, minor considerations and I am sure they can be worked out.

 I can’t tell you how excited I am to learn that NASA is going to develop a new astronaut class and I can’t express how enthusiastic I am at the prospect of being one of the chosen few for that class.

 Please expedite my application and I will return it FEDEX Red Label. I’m really serious about this, Janet.

 Respectfully,

 Jake Jakubuwski,

Oxford,North Carolina

 P.S. I will be 73 years old in November. NASA wouldn’t disqualify me on that account would they? I mean John Glenn went back into space when he was a lot older then me…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Was I Right or Just Lucky?

Was I Right or Just Lucky?

 Over the millennium, prognosticators have been predicting all sorts of dire scenarios for us mortals  on this big blue ball that we call “Earth.” On the other hand there have been those that have predicted sunny skies, cool weather, good fishing and happy marriages.  The point being that either way, things sort of worked out like things always work out — on their own.

I’m not laying any claims to being farsighted enough to predict anything except I’m getting older and hopefully a little smarter. But I’ve read a few articles in the past couple of months about folks experimenting with jelly fish genes and making glow-in the-dark cells that can be used for a variety of medical purposes!

No foolin’! I’m not going to go into all the details ‘cause I don’t really understand anything about chromosomes, genes and genetic engineering except that a lot of good stuff seems to be coming from genetic research. Here’s a couple of links if you’re interested:

 ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLhU_Cfw9Lc

http://maryeaudet.hubpages.com/hub/Glow-in-the-Dark-Pets

That’s all good. It’s even exciting. It might even be a little scary for some folks. But, as sorry as I am to burst anyone’s bubble — it’s old news!

 Trust me…

Back in September of 2000 (Light years ago in comparison to the speed at which technological advances are advancing), I read in the News & Observer about a Brazilian artist and a French bio-tech lab that were corroborating on genetically altering a bunny so that Peter’s cottontail (Along with the rest of him) would glow under ultra-violet light!

Recognizing opportunity when it knocks, I immediately sent in the following OP-ED piece which the N&O (Raleigh,NC) published sometime around the end of September of that year.

Even though I could see the potential — lo, those many years ago – I failed to call up my stock broker and invest heavily (Even lightly) in bio-techs. Sometimes you’re lucky and sometimes you ain’t. Well, at least the News & Observer) sent me a check for the piece.

Here’s the article, you decide if I was right or just plain ol’ lucky…

A Radiant New Industry

By Jake Jakubuwski

In case you missed it, the News & Observer ran a story about a Brazilian artist and a French bio-tech lab that collaborated on splicing whatever genome or DNA it is that makes certain jelly fish glow, into a rabbit’s genes.

Result: A rabbit that, when you shine an infrared light on it, glows in the dark! Like, everything glows. It’s whiskers, it’s eyes, it’s teeth, tongue and cotton tail!  Wow!

The article went on to say the artist was trying to make a statement and that there was quite a bit of negative feedback from geneticists, religious leaders, ethicists, scientists and a few other “cists”.

Of course there were the concerns about science tampering with the divine design. Animal rights activists expressing alarm and dismay over the fact that the rabbit was not a willing participant and that no one could understand its pain and suffering. Ethicists and creationists were blowing their particular horns; and scientists — along with environmentalists — were expressing concerns about what would happen to the rabbit population should this glow-in-the-dark rabbit escape into the wild and breed with its unenlightened brethren.

The obvious answer to that last question is: given the proclivity of rabbits for practicing the art of reproduction, it probably wouldn’t be long before the world would be overrun with bunnies that were lighting up the night around them. No hiding their light under a bushel for those guys!

Frankly, I’m not sure just how terrible that would be. Especially for hunters. I mean look how easy it would be to draw a bead on a bunny that glows brighter then the moon on a cloudless night!

I think all the naysayers are missing the boat on this one. I think the glow-in-the-dark bunny that the French lab created is the first example of a whole new technology that is on the cusp of revolutionizing a number of industries.

Smith and Wesson, Browning, Remington, Beretta, Colt and scores of other gun manufactures could equip their rifles with infrared scopes that would be guaranteed to illuminate whatever game the hunter is trying to bag. Think of it:Turkeysthat glow green. Deer that glow red; bear that glow chartreuse and quail that flash like a neon sign! Every hunter in the country would want one of the new scopes.

Think about this. Glow-in-the-dark technology would be a boon to regional dish aficionados. If someone ordered “Maryland Soft Shell Crabs” from the menu and their scanner revealed a pinkish glow rather then foam green; they would know those crabs did not come from the Chesapeake Bay! Bostonians would know instantly that the scrod they were eating was really Boston scrod and gourmands in New Orleans would know that the fuchsia fillets on their plates were genuine Mississippi catfish!

The potential is limitless. Not only could we have the family pet uniquely color-coded, scientists could splice infrared markers into the genetic structure of common household germs so we could determine how effective the latest sanitizing, household cleaner is. Carrying that concept a step further, eating at a fast food restaurant would be safer.  We could use our hand-held scanners to determine if the table we were sitting at was clean and the food we ordered was nontoxic. No glowing microorganisms would mean that salmonella, and botulism cultures were nil.

The impact of this technology would be felt in virtually every profession, trade and industry in the world. Building trades would be needed to accommodate the demand for expanded and new research labs. More lawyers would be needed to handle the increase in lawsuits brought against the geneticists by animal rights groups. New regulatory agencies would have to be set up at all levels of government.Hollywood would remake movies like “The Blob” and call it “The Glowing Blob”. Or the “Invasion of The Killer Tomatoes” would become “The Infrared Tomato Massacre”!

We could have a Glow-In-The-Dark Encyclopedia (Random House, of course!) that would rival a Sherwin-Williams color chart. Dusky Almond for eels.Cocoa for elk. Sandalwood for bison. Raspberry for French poodles. Eggshell for deodorizing or sanitizing cleaning agents. That encyclopedia would be a veritable smorgasbord of colorful critters, chromosomes and creatures that would satisfy any appetite, taste, hygienic or decorating need!

This genetically altered, glow-in-the-dark, bunny might well be the genetic equivalent of the discovery of gold at Sutter’s Mill in 1849. A small — artistically inspired — genetic procedure that could lead us down a glowing path to a new and glowing prosperity.

We might even have to change our National Anthem to: “Glow, Little Glow Worm!”

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