Politics: The Birds and The Bees 101

By: Jake Jakubuwski

Copyright, 2011

I must make this disclaimer: I really don’t feel I can judge anyone for their dalliance in what, I believe has, colloquially, been called “Mattress Thrashing.” How I feel about the “act” and the sexual orientation of the participants doesn’t matter — particularly if the dalliance is a consensual act between adults. 

Not everyone feels that way. I understand that too. Regardless, the birds, bees and mankind in general “do it” without regard to whatever the consequences may be. That’s their personal choice.

But if they make that decision then they need to be ready to take the consequences of their actions without complaining that someone (Usually, the “media”) is trying to smear them.

 Throughout history, kings, commoners, princes, politicians, paupers, preachers, teachers and a Titanic-load of other folks  have been caught messing around with someone they shouldn’t have been messing around with.

It’s a fact. It’s happened time after time and will continue to happen until the final curtain falls.

Nonetheless, it seems like nothing getsAmerica’s attention faster — and their pulses racing — then the bedroom antics of political figures. Look what happened to Herman Cain. I wrote a piece comparing Cain and Hart — both of whom threw their pants into the ring rather then their hats. Well, to be fair, Cain’s accusers still haven’t proven their claims but the innuendo was enough to bring him down. 

Throughout history, sexual proclivities have scuttled many promising political careers.

Judges, senators, presidents, governors, congressman, mayors, political staffers, assemblymen and representatives have all been caught up in some sort of sleazy tabloid sheet escapade that put the squelch on their careers. Lately, even the main-stream press is joining in the ink-throwing and career bashing by reporting the higher profile entanglements.

Surprisingly, some of those who became entwined in a sexual liaison/scandal survived and went on with their careers. While others, bit the dust and lost their office, credibility and more. Both types (Winners and losers?) have left an historical legacy of lechery for their contemporary  counterparts.

Anyway, I got curious and thought I’d see what I could find out about the depth of the pandering problem among politicians. Not that they would be any worse then the population in general but would be far more likely to attract attention. I found thatAmerica’s pols truly were following a long tradition of between-the-sheets shenanigans that goes back to Thomas Jefferson!

Actually, the issue probably goes much further back then Jefferson but, in the interests of space considerations, I had to have a beginning, a middle and an end to this passionately pursued, lasciviousness by America’s leaders — or it might have turned into a book rather than a blog! 

The most recent honorable (?) mention would go to Herman Cain and Anthony Wiener but for some of the more memorable, we have to go back to William Jefferson Clinton and Monica Lewinsky and the infamous Cuban cigar trick. Before the time BillClintonestablished relations with Monica, and while still governor ofAlabama, he had apparently honed his expertise with Jennifer Flowers and Paula Jones…

I’m sure that many of us remember Gary Hart and the good ship Monkey Business whereGary monkeyed around with Donna Rice.Gary was caught out shortly after challenging the major papers of the day to “follow” him around if they thought he was involved in any hanky-panky. They did and he was caught with Donna cozying up to each other…

Wilbur Mills was Chairman of theHouse Waysand Means Committee. Even with all of his Senatorial clout he couldn’t cover up his drunken drive around theTidalBasinwith Fanne Fox, a well known stripper. Fanne was billed as “The Argentine Firecracker.” Later Mills held a press conference from Fanne’s dressing room in The Pilgrim Theater (Boston). Soon after this second “incident” Mills stepped down from his Chairmanship.

Thomas Jefferson, our third president and author of the Declaration of Independence fathered a child. The mother was Sally Hemmings, a 17 year-old slave belonging toJefferson. Now, we could probably excuse Tom from the scandal part since slave owners were permitted wide latitude with regard to how they “treated” their property…

Brock Adams, a Democratic senator from Washington, decided not to seek re-election after eight women alleged misconduct that included harassment, sexual assault and rape!

Jim West, former Mayor of Spokane, WA (Must be something in the water, up there) and

Washington State Senate Majority Leader (With a strong anti-gay bias) sought to meet men on the Internet and allegedly molested two young boys while serving as a scoutmaster.

Walter Jenkins, a long-time aide to Lyndon Johnson, was forced to resign after he was caught having sex with another man in a YMCA bathroom.

Grover Clevelandfathered an illegitimate child before running for President. His detractors mounted a campaign issue that didn’t stick. The “smear” was based on the jingle: “Ma, Ma, where’s my pa?” Grover supporters came back with their own ditty: “Gone to the White House Ha, ha, ha.” 

That’s just a sampling of what’s been going on behind the scenes in the White House, governor’s mansions, congress, the senate and political offices around the country — throughout history. 

Today, these folks seem to get caught more and more frequently as smart phones, digital cameras and iPads record their shenanigans. The foregoing is just a small sampling of sexual scandals among politicians and it is not meant to be judgmental.

Personally, I don’t care what they do — with the exception of child abuse and forced sex — or who they do it with (Provided it’s an act between consenting adults and does not include children or forcing, by threat or action, someone to play their twisted games) as long as they do the job that they were elected to do.

The reality is that all too often the sheets that they shake, and the persons they share those sheets with; become more important to them than almost anything else. That will tend to negatively influence their ability to do their job properly.

Like I said, this is only a sampling. If you would like to see the “Top 53 American Political Sex Scandals” click on this link:

http://www.politickernj.com/files/Top53SexScandals.pdf  

Some of these escapades will make you giggle in your grits and others might make you shake your head in wonder. They all indicate that the “mighty” are only human, too.

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Is It Over For Herman?

By Jake Jakubuwski

Copyright, 2011

Is Herman Cain gonna drop out of the race for president?

Like numerous others, I don’t know; but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.

If he’s “guilty” of the accusations leveled against him AND if he did have a 13-year affair with Ms. White — I’m of the opinion he should just get out while that getting’ is good. That is, before the GOP forces him out or he becomes the laughingstock of the primaries and the target of every other candidate who will try to explain that they are more “moral” and family oriented then Herman Cain.

I’ve read a lot about the “reassessment” that he feels compelled to make regarding his candidacy. Yeah, he does need to redefine his “mission” and prove he is trustworthy. Much of what he has been saying indicates that he needs to talk the situation over with his wife, family and campaign staff.

At another point he says he has spoken with his wife and she “forgives” him. Of what? I mean if he didn’t’ do it … what’s to forgive? If he did do it, then forgiveness is in order.

But then, how do we, the electorate, feel about his integrity? If he didn’t do it he’s gonna have a helluva battle in front of him to regain our confidence. If he did do it; then he’s apparently just as big a prevaricator as any politician anywhere — of any persuasion or affiliation.

Personally, I think he’s gonna announce his withdrawal from the race. But we won’t know until we hear him say it. What intrigues me is what he’s saying to his wife. Because I’ve got sort of a warped way of thinking, I thought it would be fun to speculate on what he might have to say to his wife about his peccadilloes, or lack thereof.

GUILTY: “Gloria, I know this looks bad but I swear I never did nothing with any of those women and it’s all a smear campaign designed to besmirch my sterling reputation as a family man, business man and candidate!” (This being said while the florist is unloading a whole truck — full of roses).

NOT GUILTY: “Gloria, I know this looks bad, but I swear I never did nothing with any of those women and it’s all a smear campaign designed to besmirch my sterling reputation as a family man, business man and candidate”” (This being said while the florist is unloading a whole truck — full of roses).

GUILTY: “Gloria, you know that I have never, ever, looked at another woman in all the years we’ve been married. You are the only woman in my life and we have to fight this thing together in order to win this election so you can be the First Lady of theUnited States!” (This being said while an armored delivery service brings in a matched set of diamond earrings, necklace and bracelet from Tiffany’s”).

NOT GUILTY: “Gloria, you know that I have never, ever, looked at another woman in all the years we’ve been married. You are the only woman in my life and we have to fight this thing together in order to win this election so you can be the First Lady of theUnited States!” (This being said while an armored delivery service brings in a matched set of diamond earrings, necklace and bracelet from Tiffany’s”).

GUILTY: “Gloria, I know you’re upset, but I can explain! The important thing right now is not my candidacy but our marriage and presenting a united front to all those vultures in the media who would do anything to destroy us and your chances to be First Lady!”

NOT GUILTY:  “Gloria, I know you’re upset, but I can explain! The important thing right now is not my candidacy but our marriage and presenting a united front to all those vultures in the media who would do anything to destroy us and your chances to be First Lady!”

 Yep! I think Mr. Cain’s got himself into one sorry mess (Whether he’s guilty or not) and he’s gonna have to do some fancy dancin’ to come out of this with a whole skin. 

On the other hand, if he does drop out, and he does close down his campaign, what happens to any of those millions of donated dollars that might be left over in his “War” chest? It could be that there’s enough there to permit him to have earned a fairly good “wage” while campaigning.

In spite of what he might like to do with that money (Like pay for all those roses, jewelry, trips to fights in Las Vegas and expensive dinners.), he’s prohibited by the Ethics Reform Act of 1989 to use that money for personal reasons. Maybe he could figure out a way to give it to Ms. White, or use it to pay off his other accusers.

The ERA mandates some pretty stiff penalties regarding the disposal of that money. So, if he spent any of that money contrary to the guidelines of the Ethics Reform Act, he could be clobbered by the FEC and the IRS…unless of course he would stoop to some sort of creative bookkeeping.

GUILTY: “Mr. Revenuer, do you have any idea who you’re dealing with?”

Personally, I liked a lot of what the guy had to say. I’m not saying I would have voted for him, but he seemed to have his head on pretty straight. I think that all these accusations that have surfaced  tend  to indicate that his libido was as out of whack as his “9-9-9” idea. 

Maybe Cain should watch this video. It wasn’t written for folks like him but might be apropos …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwhl4IrPNc

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Tired of The Same Old Christmas?

I did not write the following. It came to me via email. I simply copied it, cleaned it up a little and decided to pass it on to my readers since I really think the idea makes a lot of sense. As I see it, this is not just a Christmas idea but a good idea for birthdays, anniversaries, graduations or any occasion where a gift is appropriate or called for 

I like the idea of spending my money locally, with local merchants. On the downside, it may cost a little more to buy in local shops and have our oil changed by a local garage and buy our tires from a local dealer. But in real terms, how much more does it really cost?

I know that for the last twenty-odd years, I’ve bought my tires from a locally owned tire dealer. I’ve had my oil changed by a local garage and the same mechanic has been doing my mechanical repairs. Until just a couple of years ago, I bought all my prescriptions from a local pharmacy until they sold out to a national chain.

Realistically, I know there are not always local trade persons that can handle our needs and supply our demands for some necessities. When that’s the case, we have to buy where we can get what we need. But every dollar we can spend with locally owned businesses is a dollar that is more likely to directly benefit our local economy. Think about that.

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 The eMail

 “I liked this idea so much I had to share it with you. If everyone did this (not just at Christmas time), we would be providing our own economic stimulus!

As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high gear to provide Americans with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods — merchandise that has been produced at the expense of American labor. This year, and the years to come, could be — should be — different. This year we will give the gift of genuine concern for other Americans. There should no longer be an excuse that, at gift giving time, nothing can be found that is produced by American hands — because there is!
 
It’s simply time to think differently — to think and spend smarter! Who says a gift needs to fit in a box, wrapped in Chinese produced wrapping paper? Use your local newspaper or comic section! It’s not only cheap, it’s smart!
Everyone — yes EVERYONE gets their hair cut. How about gift certificates from your local hair salon or barber? Gym membership? It’s appropriate for all ages who are thinking about some sort of health improvement.

Who wouldn’t appreciate getting their car detailed? Many small, American owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you gift certificates. Perhaps someone on your list would like his driveway sealed, or lawn mowed for the summer, or driveway plowed all winter, or games at the local golf course.

There are a bazillion owner-run restaurants — all offering gift certificates. And, if your intended isn’t the fancy eatery sort, what about a half dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint. Remember, folks, this isn’t about big national chains — this is about supporting your LOCAL home town small businesses — businesses which depend on you to keep their doors open.

How many people couldn’t use an oil change for their car, truck or motorcycle? With all the work done at a local shop run by the American working guy? Thinking about a heartfelt gift for mom? Mom would LOVE the services of a local cleaning lady for a day.

My computer could use a tune-up, and I KNOW I can find some young guy who is struggling to get his computer repair business up and running.

OK, you were looking for something more personal. Local crafts people spin their own wool and knit them into scarves. They make jewelry, and pottery and beautiful wooden boxes.

Plan your holiday outings at local, owner-operated restaurants and leave your server a nice tip.  How about going to see a play or ballet at local community theater? Musicians need love too, so find a venue showcasing local bands.

Honestly, do you REALLY need to buy another ten thousand Chinese lights for the house? When you buy a five dollar string of lights, about fifty cents stays in the community. If you have those kinds of bucks to burn, leave the mailman, trash guy or babysitter a nice BIG tip instead.

You see, Christmas no longer needs to be about draining American pockets so that Chinacan build another glittering city. Christmas can, and should now be, about caring about US, encouraging American small businesses to keep plugging away to follow their dreams. And, when we care about other Americans, we care about our communities, and the benefits come back to us in ways we couldn’t imagine. This idea could become the new American Christmas tradition.

Forward this to everyone on your mailing list — post it to discussion groups — throw up a post on Craigslist in the Rants and Raves section in your city — send it to the editor of your local paper and radio stations, local business chambers, and TV news departments. This is a revolutionary idea of caring about each other — isn’t that what Christmas is about?”

—Anonymous     

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Some gift-giving Ideas

 You can find hand-made crafts, wall hangings, posters, poems, books and plans to build toys, cars, engines and repair plumbing on the Internet. You can find self-help books, inspirational books, mysteries, adventure stories and more on the Internet. There are cooking classes, locksmith classes, door repair classes, and degrees and diplomas all on the Internet. Many of those books, instruction manuals and religious books are written and sold by local authors.

 You can buy and send flowers, candy, and gift certificates to local restaurants, hardware stores, kiddy stores and more on the Internet. Many of them right in your own local area.

 So if you’re looking for the new, unique, unusual gift idea or the latest fad; check out the Internet and your local on-line shoppers…

 Make this Christmas a really different and delightful Christmas!

 Note: Please feel free to copy this and forward it to your friends and associates…Or, send them this link: http://www.purejake.com

—Jake Jakubuwski

Copyright, 2011

 And lest I forget; HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS, READERS AND FOLLOWERS!